One of the hardest things about being unhoused is the lack of privacy.
And that hasn’t really changed.
I got whacked in the eye by a branch this morning. Like, directly in the eye.
An unhoused person had driven through a barrier I had set up to a closed off area, so I decided to roll some logs uphill to create a new barrier.
One of the logs rolled over a branch in such a way that the branch just flew instantly and directly into my eye.
It hurt really bad, even after I napped, took 2 Tylenol, and showered. And it triggered my PTSD pretty badly to feel punched in the face like that.
So I just wanted to be alone. And everyone came looking for me.
The family who I wrote a note to asking to put their fire pit back in order, decided to raise hell instead.
“Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. HELLO. ANYONE HOME?”
Then they came back and said, “Housekeeping!” That one actually kinda makes my blood boil. It’s like the equivalent of snapping your fingers at me while I’m waitressing.
I don’t think of myself as Housekeeping. I think of myself as customer service. But now you won’t be getting any of that.
I ignored them and pretended not to be there.
So they decided to bring their kids down to ride bikes in my driveway for literally about two hours.
They tried to call for me at least six times. I felt like they were stalking me. (There is a number posted that they can call if I’m not there.)
I was thinking, these toddlers are gonna have to pee at some point. I know I do.
The second they went to the bathroom, I bolted to my car with my shower bag.
But before that happened, the ranger and law enforcement both came looking for me, too.
And while it’s possible that they might have been there to support me in some way, I was already triggered and having a ranger show up unannounced just made it worse.
I know that sounds weird, cause I want to be a ranger. But I’ve had some really bad experiences with cops in the past. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to interacting with them like it’s normal.
I once had a cop tell me he’d take my baby away if I called 911 on my ex beating me up, and I’m now estranged from that child in real life.
So maybe the law enforcement officer didn’t mean to scare me or trigger me or make me double over in tears in the shower. But she banged on my whole tent and yelled my name and yelled ‘law enforcement!’
Also, I had just been smoking. What do you do when law enforcement walks into your fresh weed cloud?
Play dead and pretend not to be home is what I did.
Why can’t they just give me like a fifteen minute warning?
Camp Host Diaries 