Flashlights and Fire

One of the least intelligent things that angry drunken campers do is to flash lights at my tent to see whether or not I’m still awake.

It’s so silly. It makes the camper stand out to me like a sore thumb, and doesn’t help them see me at all.

It’s actually really creepy sometimes, though, because I don’t even notice that people are watching me– until I notice how many fires start immediately after I turn out my lights.

Like…. wait… how long were they watching and waiting for me to turn out my lights?

I just went to ask a site to put out their camp fire a little bit ago, and they argued that their fire is not a fire.

I’m sorry, what?

“This isn’t a fire. It’s propane.”

Like the fact that they have a giant tank of propane fueling the fire makes it better? Pretty sure that makes it worse?

I had to calm down to realize where the confusion must have come from. Propane camping stoves are allowed.

And since I used to work at a country club, I can completely wrap my head around how a rich old white man (such as the camper in question) could interpret that to mean that any fire is okay as long as it’s started with propane and used to cook food.

No.

Okay, I have so many tangents to write about.

Why do men walk by my site after I ask them to follow the rules they’ve been breaking?

I think the most innocent reason is to make sure I’m someone with some authority. The uniform isn’t enough. They want to know my specific title, and whether or not they have to listen to me.

Some may be trying to intimidate me, but I think these are in the minority.

Some want to see if there’s a man around they can argue with. Some just don’t like to be told what to do by a woman, and if they can find a man to argue with, they’ll do so.

Like when I used to work at Office Depot, I literally had an old white man say to my face, “I want to speak to a male associate, you don’t know what you’re talking about cause you’re a girl” when I was trying to help him with his computer virus.

(I called our worst male associate to come help him, and then stood ten feet away explaining everything to that associate over the radio where the old guy could see, it was hilarious)

Tonight’s camper in question invented a man with authority over me. He said, “They just said I could! I just called him!”

Genuinely shocked, I said, “You just talked to who?”

He surprised me by capitulating. “Alright. I’ll put it out.”

I am talking about a WHOLE FIRE in the fire pit over which they were all roasting marshmallows at the same time. There are signs everywhere that say “no camp fires.”

I’ve already been evacuated once this season. I’m not getting evacuated again so you can have smores, Mr. Jones.

Well the funny thing is, I wasn’t asking who he talked to as if no one else has more authority than I do.

It’s just because I know how short staffed we are right now.

I don’t even have anyone to call. How could he?

So to recap: A fire big enough to roast marshmallows which fills up the entire fire pit isn’t a fire, but an imaginary ranger said it was okay as long as a propane tank is attached to it.

I can’t even.

They keep walking by my tent to see if I’ve gone to sleep so they can start their fire back up.

Guys, I do this every night. Don’t try to play me.

My boss is literally away on firefighting duty right now.

And these fools are pretending he said they could have a fire 😆